Messes and Tears

I sat my youngest on the potty to help him ‘go pee’ after he waited till the last minute. I was about to move him back further on his seat when he couldn’t hold it any longer. He tried to point down but pee splattered all over him, me and the bathroom.

“Gah!” I screamed.

I clinched my fists and wanted to yell. I looked down at my little boy and realized he was just as grossed out as me and sorry he had peed “eveywhere.” I was so glad I had taken a moment to look at his sweet face before I yelled. The anger turned to tears releasing my build up stress.

The night before he was sick and throwing up. Sick toddlers are desperate, innocent and so sad, also very very messy. My house was already in need of a good scrubbing, not to mention all the scrubbing I had done prior.

I wanted to yell “NO NOT ANOTHER MESS!” but was glad I held it in.

Clearly it wasn’t his fault. I was mad at the situation, not my son. I was exhausted from a long night but, so was he.

Its so easy to yell and lose my temper. I have many times with my kids, if I’m being completely honest. I hate myself every time I do and its a dreaded feeling that always sticks with me. I am getting better at taking a breath and showing patience. Still some days, like that day, its so easy to lose it.

I read the words of a women who I would consider and excellent mother. She said patients is something she has learned over time with her children. It wasn’t something that POOF she had. She learned it, just like you, just like me.

Like all mistakes in life we have feelings of failure, or other strong emotions that over take us when we know we have done something wrong.

I once read an article that said Satan is so happy when we yell at our children. This made me feel like the biggest failure of all.

When I would mess up and yell, I would picture God looking at me defeated and Satin looking at me as if he won. That article left horrid image in my head. I had to change it.

This feeling of failure is not of God. Yes Satan may like us to yell but that doesn’t mean we have failed. Failing means quitting, giving up, surrendering again and again to the emotions that hurt and destroy.

God isn’t standing over us shaking His head. Hes laying a hand on us saying I still love you, try again.

While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

He’s not going to turn away when we mess up. He’s going to teach us how to better ourselves, pick ourselves up faster and keep fighting the good fight.

I believe in hell, I believe Satan is real but I will not allow him to occupy my thoughts. When I fall I won’t think Satan is very pleased right now. I will instead, pray, ask for forgiveness, the strength to make it right and try again.

May our thoughts ever focus on God. The God of hope, peace, love and all things good.

No more failures, just learning experiences and the chance to change and grow.

A beautiful praise song from Hillsong United comes to mind:

Mighty to Save:

Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savoir
The hope of nations
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now i surrender
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Blessings sweet mamas <3 Give yourself grace and know you are not in this alone.