Messes and Tears

I sat my youngest on the potty to help him ‘go pee’ after he waited till the last minute. I was about to move him back further on his seat when he couldn’t hold it any longer. He tried to point down but pee splattered all over him, me and the bathroom.

“Gah!” I screamed.

I clinched my fists and wanted to yell. I looked down at my little boy and realized he was just as grossed out as me and sorry he had peed “eveywhere.” I was so glad I had taken a moment to look at his sweet face before I yelled. The anger turned to tears releasing my build up stress.

The night before he was sick and throwing up. Sick toddlers are desperate, innocent and so sad, also very very messy. My house was already in need of a good scrubbing, not to mention all the scrubbing I had done prior.

I wanted to yell “NO NOT ANOTHER MESS!” but was glad I held it in.

Clearly it wasn’t his fault. I was mad at the situation, not my son. I was exhausted from a long night but, so was he.

Its so easy to yell and lose my temper. I have many times with my kids, if I’m being completely honest. I hate myself every time I do and its a dreaded feeling that always sticks with me. I am getting better at taking a breath and showing patience. Still some days, like that day, its so easy to lose it.

I read the words of a women who I would consider and excellent mother. She said patients is something she has learned over time with her children. It wasn’t something that POOF she had. She learned it, just like you, just like me.

Like all mistakes in life we have feelings of failure, or other strong emotions that over take us when we know we have done something wrong.

I once read an article that said Satan is so happy when we yell at our children. This made me feel like the biggest failure of all.

When I would mess up and yell, I would picture God looking at me defeated and Satin looking at me as if he won. That article left horrid image in my head. I had to change it.

This feeling of failure is not of God. Yes Satan may like us to yell but that doesn’t mean we have failed. Failing means quitting, giving up, surrendering again and again to the emotions that hurt and destroy.

God isn’t standing over us shaking His head. Hes laying a hand on us saying I still love you, try again.

While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

He’s not going to turn away when we mess up. He’s going to teach us how to better ourselves, pick ourselves up faster and keep fighting the good fight.

I believe in hell, I believe Satan is real but I will not allow him to occupy my thoughts. When I fall I won’t think Satan is very pleased right now. I will instead, pray, ask for forgiveness, the strength to make it right and try again.

May our thoughts ever focus on God. The God of hope, peace, love and all things good.

No more failures, just learning experiences and the chance to change and grow.

A beautiful praise song from Hillsong United comes to mind:

Mighty to Save:

Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savoir
The hope of nations
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now i surrender
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Blessings sweet mamas <3 Give yourself grace and know you are not in this alone.

 

Poop on my floor…

Showers are a sacred thing to me. I reflect, pray and often recharge through the warm cleansing water. So when my potty training toddler runs up to me during this sacred time and screams “mom, I need da go poop!” the frustration and chaos ensues.

I open the door of the shower and stare at my toddler wondering what in the world I can do.

“Go sit on the potty!” I say.

I wonder to myself if he can climb up there alone even with the stool that sits permanently in the bathroom.

Eli races out trying to squeeze his butt cheeks together.

“Danny! Help your brother!” I say.

I wonder if he can help Eli climb up and steady the potty seat for him. Heck, I wonder if Eli will let him!

And them comes the inevitable scream…

“MOM, ELI POOPED ON THE FLOOR!”

Uh. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.

With my shower ruined and my floor violated, I remember that this will one day pass and I will actually miss these moments. Maybe not these moments in particular, even though it does make for a good laugh, now. And of course it helps that they are cute…

poop on my floor

Patients sweet mamas. Learning to laugh at these situations takes practice. Just know the floor cleans, and your children, though messy, need your love and patience.

Blessings!

Danny’s Fifth Birthday Party!

Yes! Our little boy is now five years old! It is still hard for me to grasp this concept, has that much time really passed since his birth? It’s still crazy to think that he will be starting Kindergarten this fall. Our little boy is most definitely growing up and I couldn’t be more proud of the little boy he is becoming.

My heart was full this weekend as we celebrated his fifth birthday! So much love and laughter, close friends and family on an especially beautiful day!

My fear every year is that it could rain and ruin the party. It is in May and spring here in Washington is very unpredictable. We have not had a rainy day on his birthday yet and this day did not disappoint with the temperature reaching a whopping 83 degrees!

That morning started out with me picking up a few last minute things in town then bringing home Starbucks for my husband and I. We needed a boost of energy as we decorated and prepared for the party.

I snapped a few pictures before company began arriving. I love my boys!

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People started arriving right on time and headed into the backyard to sit in the shade of our neighbors trees that stretch over the fence. It was incredibly hot to sit in the sun! Our theme was sharks (picked by Danny) and we had shark documentaries playing on the T.V. when people came in. I had shark bait candy sitting out as well as but forgot to grab a picture of it 🙁

I was running around answering the door, making sure people were comfortable when Danny ran up to me and asked if he could get in the pool we set up. “Sure!” I said. I turned back around to visit when all the sudden I heard everyone start to laugh! I turned back around to see a trail of Danny’s clothes and him, stark naked, jumping in the pool! “But mama I don’t want my clothes wet.” That was his excuse. I quickly ran him inside for a swim trunks and we had a little chat about running around butt naked 🙁

After we got that all sorted out the other kids joined in getting soaking wet, but having a marvelous time!

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Dustin started up the BBQ and we had cheese burgers (Danny’s favorite) for dinner. I bought three bags of frozen french fries but in the midst of the chaos completely forgot about them (till the next day in fact). It always amazes me how crazy these birthday parties can be! I still cant believe I forgot the fries. We had plenty of food besides, thank goodness!

After dinner we got Danny front and center for the opening of gifts!

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Danny was so excited that he kept pulling random gifts out of each package! I had to stop him so I could keep track of what people got him. “One at a time” I kept telling him.

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He was one excited and very happy boy! Everyone knew just what to get to make his day!

Dustin and I got him a brand new bike! We took him out for a stroll the next day and he did really well!

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Next, as you would guess, was to cut the cake! Quick story: I got on pinterest and asked Danny to pick what kind of shark cake he wanted, since his party was shark themed. He picked this one.

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My sister who is amazing with all things cake created the one you see below…

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Yes, she is amazing and Danny was ecstatic!

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As the day drew to a close Danny kept telling me how this was his best birthday ever! It made my heart explode with pride 🙂 He felt so blessed, happy and loved. This truly was a special day and I couldn’t be more happy with how it all turned out!

If My Sweater Could Talk…

I have this sweater I probably wear every single day. I am always cold and well its so darn comfortable! I got it from Victoria Secret about two years ago? Its held up pretty well to all the wear and tear.

PicMonkey Collage

The other day, while I was making my growing baby boy a scrambled egg, as I cracked the egg it splattered over my sleeve. “Hmm” I thought, “If this sweater could talk it would have a lot to say.”

It would tell you of the many times I walked out of the house with breakfast particles stuck to it, or maybe that was from lunch or dinner the day before? It could probably tell you what this plash and that drops is because I sure couldn’t. It would tell you the of the many times I rushed out of the house and upon realizing I forgot change, I never look down, ever, for fear of seeing something nasty.

It would tell you of snotty noses that have been smeared all over the shoulders while I was holding and comforting. It would tell you of all the blankies my arms have been forced to hold before picking up a baby after his nap.

It would tell you how messy a cook I can be and how many times I wipe poppy butts a day. Yes, in this house food and butts are put in the same sentence.

It would tell you how many times I roll up my sleeves to wash my hands or wash something dirty sitting in the sink.

It would tell you how many hours I have spent on pinterest browsing ideas and trying to get inspired.

It could tell you what my favorite bottle of wine is and how I deserve it more than the Friday and Saturday nights I allow.

It would tell you the many time it has been used as a tissue, specifically the one time I was horrified to be quite literally used as a tissue. After my toddler walked up and blew his nose on my sweater, I stood there in utter disgust staring and wondering when my toddler thought it was okay to use me this way? I wish I could tell you I took my sweater off right away, threw it in the wash and gave it the good cleaning it deserved… But I’m sure I wore it the rest of the day. Why put something else on when it could just happen again? It would be something more to wash and I already did the dark’s.

It would tell you of all the loads of laundry I do, all the sweeping/cleaning/scrubbing/vacuuming I do but most of all I hope it would tell you how much I love my family. All the things I do for them. It gets repetitive, it can be boring some days but if I had a chance to change it, I wouldn’t.

I hope it would tell you how much I have learned and grown since owning it. I hope it would tell you how devoted I am to our little family. How I let nothing stand in the way of what my family needs, or what I need.

I hope it would tell you the tired endless days that I go through as a stay at home mom are worth it because I am there to wipe their tears, butts and buggers. I am there to fix them something wonderful and healthy to eat. I am there to keep their home beautiful and strong. I am a safe place to go when a heart is broken. I am always there with arms wide open.

I am glad my sweater would have so much to share with you. It proves how much I care. How hard I am willing to work and how much I love my family.

So, next time you see a mama walking through a store with food splattered on her sweater, don’t judge. Shes probably rushed out of the house to grab something important she forgot on her latest grocery shopping trip because the kids were beginning to throw fits. She is relishing in her few minutes of freedom. Don’t ruin it by pointing out the ewwies!

Simplicity of Summer.

I am looking forward to the simple, warm days of summer. Simple in the way the boys don’t have to have their socks, undershirts, pants and shirts on at all times. Simple in that we don’t have to put on coats before leaving the house. Simple in that spending more time outside means less of a mess on the inside.

I am looking forward to potty training baby Eli. Okay, I’m not looking forward to potty training but HAVING him potty trained. Its always a huge when diapers no longer need changing.

Our older son Danny will be learning how to shower himself this summer, again, a huge help! And I will be teaching him how to wipe his own butt. I have held off on that because, well its messy, very messy. Non the less, he has to learn sometime, summer seems the time.

Summer is hot. I am not much of a heat person so I usually hide in our air conditioned house (thanks honey) until the evening rolls around. Summer evenings are my favorite!

I am looking forward to sitting on our pouch, cool glass of wine in hand, in the company of my husband, watching the kids run the last of their energy off before bed.

Below is one of my favorite pictures from last summer. I got two pools because Danny likes his full and loves to splash. Last summer Eli didn’t appreciate the splashes. I am sure that will change this year.

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As the sun shines out on the frozen snow I find myself day dreaming about it all.

My ever wondering mind is pondering what things, activities and social events we will be attending in these warm months to come. I hope the days are filled with close family, friends and wonderful warm memories to last a lifetime!

What are your hopes and dreams for this summer?