Through our seven (almost eight) years of marriage my husband has worked out of town for months at a time, a number of times. It is not fun. Specially for our two little boys.
We have always been blessed with the fact that Dustin could usually come home on the weekends. Having him home those two days makes such a difference.
The one thing that always gets us through those long hard months is knowing that it will end. The jobs my husband’s worked out of town have lasted anywhere from two to six months. But at the end he has always had a brake with a job close to home. Praise God!
It does take a tole on us as individuals but I must say our marriage has never suffered through these times apart. If anything I would say it has strengthened it.
How you might wonder? Well one reason would have to be by the grace of God. As is with everything wonderful and good.
The next has to do with modern technology, texting!
Yes, texting has kept those lines of communication open through the day. I find comfort in the fact I can reach him no matter the time with a simple text message.
I would text something as simple as, “I love you babe!” just so he would know I was thinking of him.
I would send him funny pictures of the boys which always received a laugh.
Sometimes I get a random “I miss you babe!” text. I always find those heart warming and beautiful.
Another was the nightly phone calls. I love to hear my husband’s voice. It truly calms me. Not only am I hearing his voice I can also hear if he is tired, stressed, if work is wearing him down.
We encourage each other to keep it up and keep things going. It’s not usually a long conversation but it doesn’t have to be.
Next, dirty texts. Yes, I said it. Without these conversations life away from him would be very dull. I not talking about naked pictures back and forth (HECK NO)! Just warm texts. It has opened up a lot of talk about love, sex and our personal relationship together. It has kept a cold night warm with sensual thoughts (Oh my) 😉
I would also prepare for the weekend when he would finally be home. I usually have his favorite cookies made, one of his favorite dinners prepared and all shopping done. If he had a hard week I might buy his something special just so he knows I was thinking of him.
They day he would come home I would made sure the laundry was done, the house was cleaned, dishes were put away and the kids had their bath. When all that was done I could spend that much more time with him. It was not only for him but for me. I only truly get to relax when he is home. When we are finally together all feels right with the world.
Some weekends I set up a babysitter so we can have a dinner out together. Yes he misses his boys but we need time alone together. There is so much that gets pushed aside until he gets home and having a chance to catch up without interruptions clears any burdens that we have been carrying.
Another important thing was making sure our weekends weren’t to busy. If we rushed here and there we never got a chance to catch up, my husband never got a chance to rest, and things were just not as calm and settled when left for work again.
There were some weekends we had little control over how busy they got. When that happened I made sure the next weekend we could rest.
For my own sanity during the week I would try to plan one day were I could get out of the house with the kids. Some weeks all I could manage was a shopping trip, but when I got to relax and have adult conversation, with my mom, or over at my sisters house, that always helped get my mind off the situation at hand, putting me in a better mood.
Even though its not fun having my husband gone for long periods of time we both try and make the best of it. You have to, or you will go crazy.
Remember to take it easy on yourself. While the husband is away enjoy a peaceful night of popcorn in bed with a really girly movie after you put the kids down for bed. Have that extra cup of coffee in the morning as the children run crazy through the house.
The kids always seem to act up when daddy is gone. I know they miss him too. I see it on their faces when he would finally walk in the door Friday night.
I had to try and keep the atmosphere fun and happy. Not only for me but for the kids. They can feel when I am up tight or stressed. I had to remember not to be so hard on myself, or on them when things went astray. Being stuck in a house with children can try ones patience. And when daddy isn’t home to lighten the mood, or load, tensions can run high. I have to remember its all part of life, there are good times and hard times and I need to find something to enjoy in them all. There is something to learn from every situation.
I have such respect for the women who’s husbands are deployed. I cant imagine what it must be like to have your husband in harms way all they while having to take care of your home and children alone for months at a time. My prayers went out to these women. It has to take so much strength and courage.
I am so glad my husband could come home on the weekends and he was working a job were his life wasn’t on the line. I am not complaining, I am just sharing my story. Though I do have a much deeper respect for single mothers and for mothers who have husbands that work far from home.
God bless you mamas!