Working Out Of Town…

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Through our seven (almost eight) years of marriage my husband has worked out of town for months at a time, a number of times. It is not fun. Specially for our two little boys.

We have always been blessed with the fact that Dustin could usually come home on the weekends. Having him home those two days makes such a difference.

The one thing that always gets us through those long hard months is knowing that it will end. The jobs my husband’s worked out of town have lasted anywhere from two to six months. But at the end he has always had a brake with a job close to home. Praise God!

It does take a tole on us as individuals but I must say our marriage has never suffered through these times apart. If anything I would say it has strengthened it.

How you might wonder? Well one reason would have to be by the grace of God. As is with everything wonderful and good.

The next has to do with modern technology, texting!

Yes, texting has kept those lines of communication open through the day. I find comfort in the fact I can reach him no matter the time with a simple text message.

I would text something as simple as, “I love you babe!” just so he would know I was thinking of him.

I would send him funny pictures of the boys which always received a laugh.

Sometimes I get a random “I miss you babe!” text. I always find those heart warming and beautiful.

Another was the nightly phone calls. I love to hear my husband’s voice. It truly calms me. Not only am I hearing his voice I can also hear if he is tired, stressed, if work is wearing him down.

We encourage each other to keep it up and keep things going. It’s not usually a long conversation but it doesn’t have to be.

Next, dirty texts. Yes, I said it. Without these conversations life away from him would be very dull. I not talking about naked pictures back and forth (HECK NO)! Just warm texts. It has opened up a lot of talk about love, sex and our personal relationship together. It has kept a cold night warm with sensual thoughts (Oh my) 😉

I would also prepare for the weekend when he would finally be home. I usually have his favorite cookies made, one of his favorite dinners prepared and all shopping done. If he had a hard week I might buy his something special just so he knows I was thinking of him.

They day he would come home I would made sure the laundry was done, the house was cleaned, dishes were put away and the kids had their bath. When all that was done I could spend that much more time with him. It was not only for him but for me. I only truly get to relax when he is home. When we are finally together all feels right with the world.

Some weekends I set up a babysitter so we can have a dinner out together. Yes he misses his boys but we need time alone together. There is so much that gets pushed aside until he gets home and having a chance to catch up without interruptions clears any burdens that we have been carrying.

Another important thing was making sure our weekends weren’t to busy. If we rushed here and there we never got a chance to catch up, my husband never got a chance to rest, and things were just not as calm and settled when left for work again.

There were some weekends we had little control over how busy they got. When that happened I made sure the next weekend we could rest.

For my own sanity during the week I would try to plan one day were I could get out of the house with the kids. Some weeks all I could manage was a shopping trip, but when I got to relax and have adult conversation, with my mom, or over at my sisters house, that always helped get my mind off the situation at hand, putting me in a better mood.

Even though its not fun having my husband gone for long periods of time we both try and make the best of it. You have to, or you will go crazy.

Remember to take it easy on yourself. While the husband is away enjoy a peaceful night of popcorn in bed with a really girly movie after you put the kids down for bed. Have that extra cup of coffee in the morning as the children run crazy through the house.

The kids always seem to act up when daddy is gone. I know they miss him too. I see it on their faces when he would finally walk in the door Friday night.

I had to try and keep the atmosphere fun and happy. Not only for me but for the kids. They can feel when I am up tight or stressed. I had to remember not to be so hard on myself, or on them when things went astray. Being stuck in a house with children can try ones patience. And when daddy isn’t home to lighten the mood, or load, tensions can run high. I have to remember its all part of life, there are good times and hard times and I need to find something to enjoy in them all. There is something to learn from every situation.

I have such respect for the women who’s husbands are deployed. I cant imagine what it must be like to have your husband in harms way all they while having to take care of your home and children alone for months at a time. My prayers went out to these women. It has to take so much strength and courage.

I am so glad my husband could come home on the weekends and he was working a job were his life wasn’t on the line. I am not complaining, I am just sharing my story. Though I do have a much deeper respect for single mothers and for mothers who have husbands that work far from home.

God bless you mamas!

A Season.

I never heard the expression, ‘its just a season,’ until I was seeking encouragement from my mother. I was telling her of some stress in my life when she said not to worry, it’s just a season, and it will be over soon.

Just a season.

I found comfort in those words. First, when I think of a season I think of all the memories and joys to be found and held in that short period of time. Seasons in themselves hold their own beauty. There is usually something we don’t like in each but we learn to adapt and carry on anyway.

For winter it is the danger of driving in the snow and having to shovel the driveway.

For spring it is the allergies and constant sneezing.

For summer it is the bee stings and bugs.

For fall it is returning to college or school, or having to rake the leaves pilling up in the backyard.

But for each of these there is beauty.

For winter it is the coziness of the cold, the snowman we build and the beauty of seeing the ground covered in a clean blanket of snow.

For spring it is seeing the flowers bloom and watching the world come back to life after a long cold winter.

For summer it is the beautiful butterfly, the trips to the lake and calm evenings sitting on the back porch.

For fall it is watching the leaves turn colors, the cool brisk air and the pumpkin spice latte’s.

If I think of these stressful times as a season instead of a life’s lesson or as just a stress filled time in life, I feel like I might be able to find the beauty in it all. There is always beauty. Never forget that. If you have to step outside to watch the sun set just to see the beauty, than do that. Always search for something beautiful.

It also helps to rejoice with the people who are excited about, buying a new car, or that things in life seem to be going really well for someone.

I have promised myself not to be bitter. Even though I want those things for myself I will not ask God, “Why cant I have that?” or “Why do you always give me the tough stuff.”

The only reason I wont ask that stuff now is because I have before, and it has never done me any good. I have looked at other peoples life’s and coveted what they had.

It made me bitter and angry. I hated that feeling, I hated how it made me act and react. I know too many people who are bitter and angry over coveting what they can not or do not have. I want to be nothing like them. It has quite literally destroyed their lives.

Remembering to take it to God, I prayed. “Lord, help me to be happy for these people. Help me to be filled with joy in these hard times. I don’t want to be bitter. I don’t want to be that person in the corner looking on these happy people with hate and bitterness in my eyes. I want to celebrate with them. So when me and my family make it through this season, they will also celebrate with us.”

Yes I cried while I prayed. I asked for forgiveness but I also asked for strength. I asked that we to might find a vehicle one day for a great deal and to help me be patient. I asked God to take the anger and bitterness and fill my heart with love and joy.

While I was praying I felt a peace wash over me. It was beautiful. I felt happy and excited again.

It is amazing how quickly the Lord can work. It just takes you seeing and recognizing the the wrong and then asking God to help you with it.

If I ever felt like I was going back into jealousy I prayed again and immediately found peace in Him.

There is nothing like the feeling of peace. It is so calming and beautiful.

I want to be that strong woman in the room encouraging others even though my world seems to be falling apart. I want my children to celebrate with others and trust that God has a plan for them. That seasons are short and God is greater than anything we feel or want in this world.

I want most of all for my family to be strong, loving and true. To trust and love God through every walk of life.

I realize that if that is what I want for my family, I must do that very thing.

A hymn comes to mind:

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with your free Spirit.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me. 

My Husband And I…

So much is going to change with this new little addition to our family and we couldn’t be more ready or excited! But before Eli is born I want to do something special with just my husband and I.

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Something that comes to mind is walking around downtown. Going through all the shops to see the new fall trends, smelling the Fall air and watching the leaves blow around. Of course we will have to have a nice dinner out as well. Big brother Danny will most likely spend the afternoon a Grandma and Grandpa’s. Knowing he is having as much fun as us always makes our time together more enjoyable.

I love walking around hand in hand with my husband not having any place to be. I love having the conversation flow slow and easy. When we dated years back we walked around downtown quite a few times, it brings back memories and freshens our spirits. We have each others full attention and its such a beautiful wonderful thing to get those moments with him.

Although dressing up and going out is one of the last things I want to be doing right now… Its important for both my husband and I to have this time together. He often reminds me that I still look beautiful 8 months pregnant, hard for me to imagine, and no matter how bad I think I look he is still ready to show me off and take me out! Gotta love a guy like that… I feel truly blessed!

6 Year Anniversary!

This August marks our six year Wedding Anniversary! Its amazing to look back and see all we have accomplished together!

A brand new house, two children, running and maintaining a business and years packed full of wonderful memories! I wouldn’t change a thing.

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Dustin and I married at a young age but we feel blessed to have found each other so early in life. We were high school sweethearts but our story is unlike any you will ever hear.

Like I said, it starts in high school…

There was this boy, a very popular, cocky boy that seemed to get into mischief every now and then. He had long wavy, beautiful hair for a guy which I thought, to be quite honest, didn’t look good on him. He resembled Prince Charming in the movie Shrek.

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Yeah, but with brown hair.

He followed me around a lot. He would walk down the middle of the hallways so I had to move around him. He would also block doorways so I had to squeeze past. I tried to ignore him but he made it difficult. I though he was rude and arrogant and I wanted nothing to do with him! Insert a picture of me with my nose up in the air because that’s how I looked with him around. “How dare he! Just who does he think he is?!” These were the thoughts going through my head.

Now from Dustin’s point of view. “I’m gonna marry that girl some day. Its only a matter of time before I get her to see I’m the one for her!” Apparently he was telling everyone and their mother that he was going to marry me! And we weren’t even dating yet!

Anyway! Some where along the way he caught my attention in a good way. He ended up cutting that long hair off too 😉 He said had nothing to do with me not liking it… Ha ha, yeah right! All in all he was pretty sweet when I got to know him. He had dreams and ambitions plus he was already holding a steady job. When your seventeen and in high school THAT is a big deal!

I had my own dreams and ambitions along with a job so we had ways to relate and things to talk about.

After getting to know each other a little more he started walking me out to my car at the end of school and we would talk. We would talk until we were the only two left in the parking lot, then we would talk some more. It wasn’t stupid banter either, we actually discussed things. We weren’t all over each other, Dustin knew I wasn’t that type of girl. We didn’t start holding hands until we dated for a few months.

Dustin was always conscious of my feelings and respected my wishes. He wanted to move pretty fast with our relationship, obviously he was wanting to get married, but he knew to get me, slow was the selected pace.

After dating for a few months I knew his feelings were stronger than mine, that scared me. I liked Dustin immensely and I had so much respect for him. I didn’t want our relationship to go any farther until I knew I could match his feelings.

It was so hard to tell him I needed time to think. I could see how much it hurt him. Being the gentleman he was he obeyed my wishes without question. I cried the whole way home, my heart felt broken. I never stopped thinking about him, not once. I lasted two weeks before I realized I couldn’t do it. Someone was missing from my life, I felt like I lost my best friend. Not long after getting back together, we were engaged.

My most precious and important memories are shared with him. I am so blessed! I truly did marry my best friend!

As I said before there isn’t a thing I would change. We have been through thick and thin together. There is no one else I want to share this life with!

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Confessions Of A Crazy Pregnant Person!

Its amazing the things you ‘think’ you need when pregnant. I tend to go a little over board at times. I blame it on the nesting period we pregnant women go through. It seems I’ve been nesting ever since I started my second trimester. Usually it kicks in during the third and final trimester. Do you think that means I will have this baby early? I sure hope so! As soon as it’s healthy for baby, I’m ready! Well kind of…

First I need to stock up my pantry! I gotta have lots of food for Dustin and Danny to snack on while I am tired and healing. We have a mini freezer out in the garage that I desperately need to clean out. I want to fill it with all kinds of frozen dishes so dinner isn’t something Dustin or I have to struggle with for the first month or so.

Next I need to clean all Eli’s clothes. I keep wanting to do it now but if I do it now I know I will want to do it again later. Gotta make sure those clothes are fresh and clean! That also includes the crib, sitting in our garage, and all the blankets and spit rags. I am making myself wait till October, but I may only last till the end of September 😉 I am due November 3rd.

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I may not sound crazy yet but I might in this paragraph. I made a Amazon baby registry! That’s not crazy, but the fact that I bought just about everything off it myself, does. My mother told me to wait. “Even though this is your second pregnancy people will still get you things” She said. But for some reason I couldn’t wait!

Also, I have this crazy notion that the nursery and our master bedroom have to be done before I have baby. I am proud to say the nursery is complete, I’ll do a post on that later, but our master bedroom is only about half way done right now 🙁

Also, my son Danny had to have all his winter clothes before August! I say ‘had’ because, well, I got all that done in July… See, crazy right?! I did catch an awesome sale so it was worth it!

Big brother Danny below!

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With each item checked off the list, and I do have a list, I begin to relax a little. And my husband, God bless him, really needs me to relax.

I have to slow down and remind myself that everything will be okay in-spite of what I do and don’t have done. God has blessed us with much, why would that change? Who do I have my faith in? I need to rest in Him and believe He has my best interest at heart. Because He does.

The last thing I really would like done is all the Christmas shopping. I do not want to worry about all that when I have a brand new baby laying in my arms.

I think the whole reason I want all this done is so I can really relax and enjoy the whole new experience we are going to go through as a family. Thinking back to when Danny was a newborn and remembering how fast it went makes me sad. I want to make sure I can truly enjoy the new adventure we going on and I want everyone to feel relaxed and comfortable.

Again, I need to remember to slow down. I always want to rush through something to get to the next and that makes life pass much faster. Life is to short and I want to truly enjoy everyday that God has blessed me with. Even the hard days. Nothing to be excluded. I need to worry less and enjoy more. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with my second, I have been praying for the help to do just that.

When you have children life seems to speed up, just when you want it to slow down. I continue to pray for the strength to let go of what I cannot control and for the wisdom to know when I have tried my hardest and need to walk away.

I need to let God enter and take over more of my life, my thoughts and my actions because I have tried it myself, and have suffered because of it. I am not meant to do this on my own. I need my heavenly Father.