Messes and Tears

I sat my youngest on the potty to help him ‘go pee’ after he waited till the last minute. I was about to move him back further on his seat when he couldn’t hold it any longer. He tried to point down but pee splattered all over him, me and the bathroom.

“Gah!” I screamed.

I clinched my fists and wanted to yell. I looked down at my little boy and realized he was just as grossed out as me and sorry he had peed “eveywhere.” I was so glad I had taken a moment to look at his sweet face before I yelled. The anger turned to tears releasing my build up stress.

The night before he was sick and throwing up. Sick toddlers are desperate, innocent and so sad, also very very messy. My house was already in need of a good scrubbing, not to mention all the scrubbing I had done prior.

I wanted to yell “NO NOT ANOTHER MESS!” but was glad I held it in.

Clearly it wasn’t his fault. I was mad at the situation, not my son. I was exhausted from a long night but, so was he.

Its so easy to yell and lose my temper. I have many times with my kids, if I’m being completely honest. I hate myself every time I do and its a dreaded feeling that always sticks with me. I am getting better at taking a breath and showing patience. Still some days, like that day, its so easy to lose it.

I read the words of a women who I would consider and excellent mother. She said patients is something she has learned over time with her children. It wasn’t something that POOF she had. She learned it, just like you, just like me.

Like all mistakes in life we have feelings of failure, or other strong emotions that over take us when we know we have done something wrong.

I once read an article that said Satan is so happy when we yell at our children. This made me feel like the biggest failure of all.

When I would mess up and yell, I would picture God looking at me defeated and Satin looking at me as if he won. That article left horrid image in my head. I had to change it.

This feeling of failure is not of God. Yes Satan may like us to yell but that doesn’t mean we have failed. Failing means quitting, giving up, surrendering again and again to the emotions that hurt and destroy.

God isn’t standing over us shaking His head. Hes laying a hand on us saying I still love you, try again.

While we were yet sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

He’s not going to turn away when we mess up. He’s going to teach us how to better ourselves, pick ourselves up faster and keep fighting the good fight.

I believe in hell, I believe Satan is real but I will not allow him to occupy my thoughts. When I fall I won’t think Satan is very pleased right now. I will instead, pray, ask for forgiveness, the strength to make it right and try again.

May our thoughts ever focus on God. The God of hope, peace, love and all things good.

No more failures, just learning experiences and the chance to change and grow.

A beautiful praise song from Hillsong United comes to mind:

Mighty to Save:

Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savoir
The hope of nations
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now i surrender
Savior he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Blessings sweet mamas <3 Give yourself grace and know you are not in this alone.

 

Hard Seasons

It’s easy to forget when going through a hard season the stress and tole it takes on my mind and body.

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When these hard times hit they come out of nowhere. They shock and surprise and instantly effect my mind, body and day to day activity.

Can you relate?

Going from a season of relaxation to one of difficulty changes things but I try my hardest not to let effect my life.

I try and fit what I normally do in a day in with the chaos that has just ensued. This chaos may not effect what I do in that day, but effects my mind and how it operates. It effects my energy, my excitement, and over all mood. Its draining thinking on a situation, how to fix it, how to change it, what you should have done, why its happening… All these things play over and over again and its exhausting to say the least.

When disaster strikes we are not suppose to stop everything we are doing, that’s not what I am saying. What I am mean is be realistic with how it is effecting you and be gracious with yourself.

Others friends may be full steam ahead in business, plans, goals or life in general and there you are, paddling your hardest trying so hard to keep up. Not wanting to get left behind.

Friends, I know this feeling all to well. That is when God comes to my rescue and sends angles like Sandie Krakowski to post something like this:

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When you go through hard seasons in life, sometimes, MAINTAINING where you are is the most POWERFUL thing you can do. #StayBrave You don’t always have to grow and expand. Through difficult seasons, STAND TALL and hold things together. That’s incredible! #BeMore

While reading this I broke into tears. I knew this was a loving message from God above telling me, “You, sweet Lesly, are doing enough.”

To hear that from the God of the universe, to feel Him tough my soul and speak to the heaviness on my heart… Beautiful.

Pushing myself always drives me to madness. My temper gets short, my days get long, the joy is stolen all because I am pushing myself harder than I should and why? Is there not enough to learn just by watching and teaching my children? By being a wife? A friend? A daughter of God?

Maybe you didn’t get your to-do list done but that doesn’t mean you were not productive. It doesn’t mean you didn’t learn and grow in some way.

So when you find yourself in a hard season remember its okay, perhaps even best, to slow down and maintain speed for a time. Maybe there is something else God is trying to teach you. Keep moving forward yes! But know your mind and body can only handle so much stress. It does effect you, as much as we don’t want it too. Seek God, as for help, direction and peace. Ask Him to show you the way.

Its hard putting dreams and ambitions on the back burner but sometimes there is something we need to learn before moving forward. Remember, God only teaches us what is in our best interest. Trust His divine wisdom because He knows the future.

Quotes that come to mind are:

  • Sometimes we forget to forgive the most important person, ourselves. – Rochelle Griffin
  • Just because you took longer than others doesn’t mean you failed. – Unknown
  • Be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can. – Unknown

 

Jumpin Jammies!

What do you wear to bed? Probably pajamas right? Take a gander at your pj’s and let me ask you this. Are they a bit worn? Are they a bit frumpy? Are they your absolute favorite? Do they look like your absolute favorite?

Why am I talking about your pj’s? Well, last year my husband made a comment on mine. He was wondering why I never wore anything other than jammy pants and his t-shirts. “Well, their comfortable.” That was my first response. Then he was like, okay, and let the subject drop.

It made me think… Maybe I could wear something a little nicer? His t-shirts are to big for me and my jammy pants… umm, okay I could wear something a lot nicer. I resembled a lost homeless girl when I got under the sheets at night! That was never my intention but I realized I could look less frumpy and sleep in comfort and style without much effort. It was time to update my pj’s.

Guilt free shopping anyone? I think so!

I have two growing boys at home so I am not going to walk around in revealing lingerie. There are so many cute and comfortable things out there its really not a difficult find.

Clearly my husband likes me to look nice and truth be told, I love looking nice for him. Its like those posts you see on tips for your marriage:

“Don’t stop dating your spouse.”

In other words, once you get married don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself go. You may be like me, doing it unintentionally, so let’s use this as a reminder to continue being that the spunky, beautiful, caring woman your husband married. Let’s not lose that girl.

This is not only for his sake but for yours! Every woman wants to feel beautiful. To feel that way, it helps to dress that way. Its a simple truth. Am I right? Yes I am…

Now we all have those days, the really tough ones where we are worn out and exhausted, barely making it into bed at night. That is okay, we all have days like this! Just don’t let that be every single night.

Look good for your man so you both have that constant, healthy, good relationship. When you feel beautiful, you act fun and flirty which can lead to other things if you catch my drift 😉

Update your jammy drawer girls! Look for other areas that you can apply the same ideas too. You don’t have to sacrifice comfort, be extremely seductive, or buy anything you don’t want. Its about feeling beautiful and comfortable for you and your man!

I have to say I love my pajamas now and I also love the looks I get from him when he sees a bit of skin through the design of the pj’s not the hole in them. Yep!

Spending money on yourself is a good thing. Feeling beautiful is an awesome thing. Now go get some new pj’s!

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Wanting to Go Back to the 1940’s.

Beauty and Class! One of my favorite eras is the 1940’s. The style and dress of a woman back then was feminine and beautiful. The long curly hair, the red lipstick, the soft flowing dresses and the side hats. What a decade to live in!

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So simple and elegant! It demanded a mans attention but in the most respectable way. Something we are losing this day in age.

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Look at her! She is the image of style and class in my humble opinion. There is no peaking cleavage, their is no provocative pose. I see a woman standing proud to be the woman she is. She knows with a simple look and a polite, soft spoken voice she can get a man to do anything for her. She has nothing to prove. She is a woman. A man can see her worth by the way she holds herself and the intelligent manner in which she speaks. There is no reason to show off. She holds everything a man could want and need. That is how God create us women to be. We hold much power over a man. We are sought after and worshiped. Again, something we are losing in this day in age.

When did we think it okay to act like men? We are now engaging in bar fights and acting like little boys who need to grow up. When women began to lose their femininity the men began to lose their drive. Us women hold much power with out having to fight for it. We don’t need to prove our worth by working as hard as a man. We are what they seek.

God knew exactly what he was doing when He created women. He gave us everything a man yearns for. We are not as physically as a man but why do we want to be? There is power in the meek. We are small delicate creatures but we have a powerful hold over men that can be used for good or evil, like anything.

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Tell me you don’t look at this picture and see a woman who is confident in her sexuality. Tell me that man wouldn’t do anything she would ask of him…

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Ready to get our hands dirty, we did what needed to be done. The war would not have been won if it weren’t for the women at home. They not only put in hard labor and work but they kept a mans heart warm with thoughts of coming back home to a woman he could wrap his arms around.

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A picture from the movie Pear Harbor (one of my favorites). They accurately display the style and can do american attitude in that movie. The men back then were hard working, unafraid to get their hands dirty. They knew women were to be treated with respect and they did so happily to woo a woman into his arms.

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And the hair styles! Oh the hair styles! We were a proud race of women!

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More photos from the movie Pear Harbor. I love the style of their make-up and hair as much as I love their dresses!

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Excuse the langue but I mean really? What happened? When did we begin to lose all our power? We need to be careful least we never get it back.

Simplicity of Summer.

I am looking forward to the simple, warm days of summer. Simple in the way the boys don’t have to have their socks, undershirts, pants and shirts on at all times. Simple in that we don’t have to put on coats before leaving the house. Simple in that spending more time outside means less of a mess on the inside.

I am looking forward to potty training baby Eli. Okay, I’m not looking forward to potty training but HAVING him potty trained. Its always a huge when diapers no longer need changing.

Our older son Danny will be learning how to shower himself this summer, again, a huge help! And I will be teaching him how to wipe his own butt. I have held off on that because, well its messy, very messy. Non the less, he has to learn sometime, summer seems the time.

Summer is hot. I am not much of a heat person so I usually hide in our air conditioned house (thanks honey) until the evening rolls around. Summer evenings are my favorite!

I am looking forward to sitting on our pouch, cool glass of wine in hand, in the company of my husband, watching the kids run the last of their energy off before bed.

Below is one of my favorite pictures from last summer. I got two pools because Danny likes his full and loves to splash. Last summer Eli didn’t appreciate the splashes. I am sure that will change this year.

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As the sun shines out on the frozen snow I find myself day dreaming about it all.

My ever wondering mind is pondering what things, activities and social events we will be attending in these warm months to come. I hope the days are filled with close family, friends and wonderful warm memories to last a lifetime!

What are your hopes and dreams for this summer?